Laura's ComDev internship

I'm home

2007-07-27T18:33:00.000-04:00

I rolled into Memphis about an hour ago. It is so great to see my mom and my dogs and I can't wait for my sister and dad to get home.
The internship is over, and it ended with a bang. On Monday I gave an oral presentation to the head of St. Andrews Center and about 10 other people who were interested in my topic. I am not a public speaker, so I was very nervous about it. However, I did spend a lot of time preparing for it and analyzing my data. I prepared a chart of all of my data and conclusions to hand out at my presentation. I looked at this chart, and realized that I really believe what is there. I believe that my conclusions will work to help Hispanic students to have a better chance at education. I was proud of my research, and I think that helped me with my anxiety of public speaking. After the presentation, there was very good dialogue about the topic. One of the people who was at the presentation is a writer for Noticias Libres, Chattanooga Times Free Press' Spanish paper. After the presentation, she e-mailed me asking for a follow up interview to talk more about my research. I met with her for lunch on Thursday and she said the article will come out in the August 10th issue. She said she was sorry I couldn't read it because I don't know Spanish. She said she might be able to e-mail me a copy in English before she translated it into Spanish. I also got an e-mail from someone who works at the Maclelland foundation (the provide various grants and do research in many different areas) saying he heard from a couple of people how good my presentation was. He asked for a copy of my research to aid him in doing a research project on the Hispanic community. I am very excited about both of things, not just because people are recognizing me, but because I want my research out there. I feel like my research really can do a lot to help Hispanic kids, and I broke solution suggestions down so they are doable for individuals or small groups of people to carry out change. I want my information out there so it will bring about change.

This summer definitely has not been what I expected. I have definitely had a lot of frustrations about not having a lot of access to the Hispanic community. Because of that, I was not able to have as many interviews and focus groups as I wanted. I also did not have many opportunities to build relationships with people from that culture, which was a big disappointment to me. At the same time, God still gave me a great deal of blessings. I did form relationships with Sui, Jonathon, and Sylvia (at La Paz).
I came into this summer not being sure at my abilities in anything. I had just come out of the hardest year for my family's life and when I came back to Covenant for graduation and my internship, I was so ready to get back in my car to go back to Memphis. All of my stuff was still there because I couldn't move in to the bunkhouse for another 2 weeks. However, if this was something that I just decided to do, and I was doing on my own, I probably would have gone home. However, I did not decide to do this. God prepared me for this and had this job pre-ordained for me. Another huge part of me sticking it out was that I raised support. Not giving up because of that didn't have anything to do with the money. It had to do with God giving me people who supported me, believed in my abilities, and who prayed for me. I am so thankful for all of your prayer and support.

Looking back now at the results that have come from my presentation just a few days later, I see that I really was and am capable of doing this work. So many times while being in this major, I have looked at all of my flaws and have wondered if I could really do Community Development work. After this summer, I really feel like I can. Not because of anything in me, but because of 2 simple facts. 1) God has called me to this and 2) what I don't have, he fills me with what I need.

Thank you so much for all of your prayer and support.

All the way my Savior leads me

2007-07-23T10:40:00.000-04:00

I have been really stressed over the last few days about my presentation and the weight of it. I was talking to my Mom and she reminded me what is and isn't important. What isn't important is worrying and stressing. God is in control of this, of this summer, and this presentation. He has given me everything I have needed to get to this point, and he is still in control, and always will be. My mom reminded me of the song she used to sing to me when I was little, and it really helped me to re-realize this. I wrote the words below. This hymn is inspired by Psalm 48:14 which says: "For this God is our God for ever and ever; he will be our guide even to the end." Those words are very comforting because they are very true, and I am very thankful for that; that he is in control and I am not!

"All the way my savior leads me; what have I to ask beside? Can I doubt his tender mercy, who thru life has been my guide? Heavenly peace, divinest comfort, Here by faith in Him to dwell! For I know what-e'er befall me, Jesus doeth all things well.
All the way my savior leads me; cheers each winding path I tread, gives me grace for ev'ry trial, feeds me with the living bread: tho my weary steps may falter, and my soul a-thirst may be, Gushing from the Rock before me, Lo! a spring of joy I see.
All the way my savior leads me; Oh, the fullness of his love! Perfect rest to me is promised in my Father's house above: When my spirit, cloth'd immortal, wings its flight to relams of day, this my song thru endless ages: Jesus led me all the way."

2007-07-20T15:58:00.000-04:00

Hey friends,
My time here is really winding down. I have a week left, and that is crazy too me. This has been an exciting summer where I have learned a lot of things. Right now, I need a lot of prayer to be able to gather all of the information I have learned. I have an oral presentation I am giving to the head of St. Andrews Center and whomever else wants to come on Monday. I am very nervous/scared about that. I also have a lot of papers and other work I have to do in the next week, and right now I am scared that I am not going to get it all done in time. I have become so accustumed to doing assignments to get this done, but with the work I have done this summer, I really want to do the best I can in putting it all together and presenting it. Please pray that time will expand, my mind will focus, and my work will come together so that my presentation inspires SAC or other people to carry out what I am suggesting that needs to be done to help Hispanic kids to graduate from high-school. That really is what matters. That my work will not just be another assignment to fill a requirement so I can graduate. It is to actually make a difference. I know that sounds cliched, but it is the truth. I feel like I have learned things that need to be done to give Hispanic kids a chance at a better life. Now I have to write my final paper and do my presentation in a way that gets into peoples heads so that they will listen and do what I am saying. This is so different because it isn't about the grade. If I bomb on this presentation, then people who would be inspired to help these kids will throw out what I say and the opportunity is lost. I feel there is a lot riding on this because it isn't about me.

Pics from the Michigan team

2007-07-14T17:31:00.000-04:00

Me and Lucas

"Lake Ford"

I think this might compete with your Alligator and Hippo stories!

The home stretch

2007-07-14T16:11:00.000-04:00

Hey friends. I 'm sorry I haven't updated in a while. Things have been pretty crazy. It is down to crunch time for me. I only have two weeks left. For the remaining time, I am going to be working on further analyzing my fieldnotes and compile my final report and oral presentation. I am nervous about it, especially the oral report. Mike is probably going to ask a lot of people to come. I am not good at oral presentations because I get really nervous and tend to ramble a lot. However, Clay, the intern who has been working with me some, might also present at the same time, so hopefully I won't be quite as nervous. I do have a lot of work left to do. I have all of this information and now I have to put it all together. It is a daunting task and I still have some research to do online to try to make connections with my findings.
On another note, I have found blessings in places I didn't expect to this summer. I have been disappointed that I didn't get those blessings in my research and the Hispanic community that I am supposed to be forming relationships. When I found out that I was going to be living in the Bunk House where Hope for Chattanooga houses their summer missions trips, I was disappointed. I was thinking that I would be too tired and stressed from work to deal with hyper junior high kids. However, I have been blessed by the teams. I have met a lot of good people through them. This week there were two teams from Michigan. One of the leaders of the team from Grand Rapids is pretty crazy and he put a tarp in the bed of his truck and he filled it with soapy water. Then, a bunch of kids got in it and he drove it. I went in one of the trips. I t was so much fun. HILARIOUS!!! I think that was the most fun I have had all summer. One of the other leaders of the team had her baby with her and she had someone praying at home that she would be able to find someone here to watch him during his nap so she could be at the work site with the kids. The work I was doing last week was all on the computer and I could do it anywhere, so I did it at the bunk house so I could watch Lucas for her. It was good having a baby around and I was glad to be an answer to prayer.
In other work this week, I had a focus group/PLA sessions as well as 2 focus groups with people from Chatt-State's English classes at St. Andrews. The PLA was with Sui, her brother Jonathon, her friend Evelyn, and her 2 brothers. I think it went well. I did a flow chart, and the end product didn't look like it was supposed to, but I still am pleased about the results. I am glad at the fact that I was not disappointed with the results even though it didn't come out as it was supposed to. I still think I got a good visual layout of reasons for the drop-out rate. I think the focus group part went well too. They all talked a lot and gave a lot of opinions. The first focus group with students from the English class, we only had 2 people. The next day we were able to get 10 people. It was because one of the teachers, Amanda, corralled as many people as she could for us. I interviewed her a few weeks ago and she really believes in what I am doing and so she has given me a lot of support. Clay translated for me and that was difficult. I am still not used to working through a translator. However, I feel like I received good data through them. I also think that they worked well to reinforce that the reasons I have for the drop-out rate are legitimate and I haven't missed anything, as I got all of the same answers and no knew ones.

4 weeks left

2007-07-02T12:35:00.000-04:00

Wow. Time has really flown by. It's hard to believe that I have been here for 8 weeks and only have 4 weeks left. However, I do feel like the end is in sight, not just in time, but also in my research. I feel like, for the first time since I knew what my topic was, that I might actually be able to accomplish it. I have learned several reasons for the Hispanic drop-out rate. Now I am working on organizing my data and coming up for the plan for this school. I have tangible answers to my research questions and am working now on organizing my data. I am working on plugging my answers into a plan for a school. It is exciting for me to see that my work is actually adding up to something. For so many weeks, I didn't feel like I was accomplishing anything, and I look at my weeks past and still it doesn't feel like I have done much. However, looking at and analyzing my field notes, I have a reasonable amount of data that actually works to answer my research questions.
I also have 2 focus groups planned for next week, as well as a PLA (particapatory Learning and action) tool. I am going to do a focus group, then a PLA flow diagram with Sui (her mother works at La Paz) and her friends. I am looking forward to dong the PLA for several reasons. One is to see the relevancy of the tools and to actually carry one out for real in tandem to my actual research. Also, I am excited to see what I might gain from the PLA. It will provide a visual representation to the drop-out problem.
Thanks for the prayers. Keep them up. I am going to need a lot of prayers to be able to concentrate and organize my data into a plan. I feel like I have gotten a lot done, but there is still a lot left to do in the next few weeks.
~Laura

improvement

2007-06-19T13:45:00.000-04:00

This week was a good week. It started off with a great weekend in Martin and in Memphis. Since I knew Allison was getting married this summer, I was looking forward to that weekend because I knew it was the only time I would get to go home. I felt like it was an excuse to go home. It was great to see my family, but it was even better to be able to go to Allison's wedding. I have very few child hood memories where she is not in them. I was very thankful that my professors let me go to it. I wouldn't have missed it for anything. Als-if you happen to read this-I love you, I am so glad I was part of your wedding, I value your friendship and the memories with you and Katie and I am so proud of you and so happy for you and Todd. Being at the wedding reminded me of the fullness of life and possibilities.

It was also really good that I was able to spend time at home with my parents before and after the wedding. We have had a tough year and the week before the wedding was an especially emotional week that we had all been dreading. It was hard for me to go through that week while not being at home, but when I was home, the pain wasn't as bad because I was concentrated more on the people that were still here.
Seeing people who have been with me through the rough parts of life reminded how far God has brought me and my abilities to do this internship.

On Tuesday I had the focus group that I had called people the week before trying to get people to come. 2 sisters and their parents ended up being the only people who showed up, but Clay and I still got good responses and I learned perspectives about Hispanic education that I hadn't heard so far.
On Thursday morning Clay and I pre-tested our survey. We talked to Pastor Sam Gutierrez (the pastor of the church I have been going to) and to Marisol Jimanez (the head ESL teacher at East Side Elementary). While we were talking to Marisol, Councilman Manuel Rico came into the office. He is the only Hispanic person in a political office in Chattanooga. It was interesting talking to him. I was a bit surprised at some of the things he said, from the perspective or a successful Hispanic person. I didn't agree with many things he said, but it was still good to hear his perspective.
That afternoon Clay and I tried going door-to-door to do the survey. We didn't get any responses, so we went to a Guatemalan grocery store. There were several people there who talked with us and we received good information.
Since I didn't get many responses calling people to come to the focus groups, I decided to have a focus group after church. I made lunch for the church (under 20 people) and talked to some of the youth after we ate. After lunch they all went to Chickamaga Dam where there is a public swimming area and I went with them. It was a lot of fun. I don't know if I have made the relational connections I wanted to, but I think I might be on that path.
I feel like I have gathered a lot of information and this week I am going to work on further analyzing and organizing it. Clay is out of town and I can't do the surveys on my own because of safety and the language barrier so we will hopefully continue those next week.

Keep the prayers coming about relational connections. Thanks for the continued support
~Laura

I am loved

2007-06-08T15:26:00.000-04:00

This week I received a lot of e-mails, messages, and phone calls from friends saying how much they were praying for me. That means so much to me. The fact that God has surrounded me with people who want to encourage me and lift me and my work up to him reinforces that God wants me here. This was potentially going to be a hard week for me as my cousin's first birthday since her death was this week. It was also my sister and my mom's birthdays and it was hard for me to not be there since our family has been through so much this year. However, the fact that I am here, doing this work, despite everything that happened this year is proof of God. Proof he loves me, proof he is in control, and proof he wants me to do this work. The fact I received so much encouragement this week reinforces that even more. Right now I want to thank all of you who are praying for me. The fact that I have had these encounters with people telling me they are praying for me has made me open my eyes and see the answers to those prayers. I have a pessimistic tendency to not really see what is going and what God is doing. I felt like my internship research was going too slow and I was frustrated that I hadn't met many people yet. However, I am making progress. I have made a friend, Sui Reyes. I also have become friends with her mom who works at St. Andrews. Her mom told me yesterday that she wants me to come over and to feel like her house is my house. Today I also met with another girl who is a Hispanic high-school student. We had a good time talking and hopefully we will hang out again sometime.
This week I have spent most of my time calling people the pastor's wife gave me. That has been hard because out of 25 names, I only have reached 2 people who will come to a focus group. I am doing the focus group and I am praying that it will go. I really hope I can get more people to come and that the kids I have found will bring their friends. I also hope that they will be willing and open to talk about their experience in education that I can get insights from it.
Next week I am going to start a new part of my research. There are a few different interns working at St. Andrews this summer and I met one of the other interns on Tuesday. He is doing his research on economics and asset mapping in Highland Park. He also speaks Spanish and was very open to helping me with my research in any way he could (since I don't speak Spanish). After talking, we have decided to go around Highland Park and conduct door-to-door surveys. I am hoping that through these we will not only gain information that will be helpful to our research, but that we will also make vital connections to the community that I feel I have been lacking.
This weekend I am traveling to Martin, TN for a very good friend's wedding. After the wedding, I am going to swing down to Memphis for a day. I am excited about Allison's wedding, but I am also excited about seeing my family. I miss them a lot and was really sad to not to be there for the birthday "week". I just pray that the short time I will spend with them will seem as if it were multiplied so I will be excited to come back here to work and not continue wishing I was at home with my family.

Prayer requests:
1. Kids will come to the focus group, will be eager to talk, and we will gain insightful things to help our research.
2. Door-to-door surveys: Safety; people will talk to us; insights helpful for our research; connections to people in the community
3. Safety in traveling home this weekend and that I will come back ready to work and not be homesick.

2007-06-05T12:29:00.000-04:00

I apologize for having not written anything for a while. I suppose I didn't feel like a ton is going on for me to write about. As I look at the blogs of my fellow com-devvers, I must admit I feel a bit of jealousy at all the exciting things they are doing, people they are meeting, and research they are conducting. In truth, my internship is not going as bad that I often think it is. I do look at the time which I spend in my office trying to find stuff to do or hanging out at the bunk house with my roomate and am frustrated I am still not more involved with the community. However, things are definitely moving forward. I just have to leqarn to be patient and not expect everything to happen at once. I still have 8 weeks left here, and that is plenty of time for me to meet people and become more involved in the community. On a positive note, this week I did hang out (at the mall) with a few Hispanic girls. One of the girl's name is Susan and her mom works at one of the organizations at St. Andrews. She hangs out here while her mom is working and I feel I am starting to form a relationship with her. Susan is going to get some of her friends together so I can do a focus group with them. I went to church this week again at East Lake Methodist Church. Last week I went there for the first time. They have a Hispanic service there and the pastor's wife translates. I don't think she would translate if I wasn't there (because I am the only person who doesn't speak Spanish there) and I am very greatful for her. I have met some people there who I plan to interview and do focus groups with. I had planned to meet with one of the girls from the church last week, but some stuff came up so we still haven't done that yet. On Sunday, after church everyone went out to eat at this cultural market and it was a lot of fun. I went back to church that night for night church. There, Lindsay, the pastor's wife, wrote down names and numbers of all the youth from the church so I can call them. There are about 25 names on the list. I am excited about calling these kids and talking to them and seeing who else they can connect me to. I feel like I am making progress and am slowly feeling like I am getting things done. I thank all of y'all for your prayers. Please continue to pray for me that I will be bold and lose my timidness and insecurities so I can really connect with people here.

2 weeks down, 10 to go

2007-05-23T12:41:00.000-04:00

I can't believe I have already been doing my internship for two weeks. And it has been a crazy two weeks at that. I learned how true our Professor's warnings were that nothing in Community Development goes as planned and you have to be flexible. I was hoping that wasn't going to be true for me since I have a hard time being flexible, but God is definitely bending me in that direction from the looks of the past two weeks. The first snag in my plans that I encountered involved me living in the student apartments at Covenant. I was supposed to live in the community I was working in and preferably with a community member. That did not happen, so I was going to live in the bunk-house of a missions organization where they house missions teams throughout the summer. I was told I could move in on May 19th or 20th, but I did not move in until Tuesday. The room is pretty rough and bare and it was a shock to my senses at first. I was thinking that maybe I had switched places with one of my Com Dev international friends. I am a little frustrated with where I am living in that this building is in a primarily black neighborhood and I am working with Hispanic people, so I am not really living in the community I am working in. But, I am moved in, so hopefully it will be easier for me to get into the Highland Park community where I am working now that I am not commuting from Lookout Mtn.

On another note, my research has been making progress. It hasn't been moving as fast as I had hoped, but it is moving, but slowly. Slow moving, is however better than it was the first week, with hardly any progress. Last week I visited East Side Elementary, which is a diverse school where half of the Hispanic kids in the Hamilton County School District attend. I spent 2 and 1/2 hours there talking to the ESL leader, 4 ESL teachers, and the ESL translator. I learned a lot of information from them about things they think schools should include in order to make it more possible for Hispanic kids to graduate and have success from school. The next day I met with the principal at that school and listened to her views of Hispanic education. I also met with the head of Hope for Chattanooga and learned about all of the economic and housing initiatives they run, as well as there other programs. The rest of the week I worked on typing up and analyzing notes. I also got sick last week so I spent a large part of the end of the week and the weekend in bed. On Monday, I was invited to attend a luncheon that works as a networking tool for people and organizations who reach out to the Hispanic population of Chattanooga. I really enjoyed going to that lunch, hearing about the different things being done for the Hispanic community. I also met some people who I will hopefully be able to connect with later on. On Tuesday I met with a high-school girl named Suzie and talked to her about her experience in education as a Hispanic student. She is going to try and get a group of her friends together so that I am can conduct a focus group with them. I also met with the ESL teacher at East Ridge Middle School and learned things about her experience in teaching ELL students. This morning (Wednesday) I went back to East Ridge and conducted a focus group with some 6th grade Hispanic students she had gathered for me. I was very excited to be conducting my first focus group. It went well and I had fun doing it. I fell more confident now in my ability to conduct them. I am going to attend East Lake Methodist Church (a Hispanic Church) this Sunday where I plan to meet kids who I can do a focus group with in the future. I know the pastor's wife and I am excited to get connected to that church and through it, the Hispanic community.

A personal struggle I am having is I have not yet connected to people in the community. I am really praying that I will be able to connect with people and build relationships with them. Right now this is just feeling like a job, and I want it to be so much more than that. Please pray for opportunities for me to meet and connect with people and that I will have a warm and opening spirit with them. I find that I can be a bit closed off and shy when I am in situations I am not used to, and this is a situation I am definitely not used to. Pray I will find ways to get out in the community and that I will take them and not be so hesitant.

Homeless in Chattown

2007-05-08T11:34:00.000-04:00

I was hoping to move in to wherever I am living this summer on Saturday, however, my "boss" was out of town and so I crashed in dorm rooms hoping I would move in and start my internship very soon. Well, Sunday (the day I had hoped to start) came and gone. Then came Monday and I was in Professor Corbett's office talking to him about what I should do when Mike called and said that the place where I was supposed to live had gotten the dates wrong and there are a bunch of guys living there right now. I can't move in until May 20th. I was really homeless, wearing the same clothes three days in a row with all of my belongings in my car. I actually got pulled over for a speeding ticket on Monday and I told the officer that I had a lot on my mind because I was homeless so he let me off. So...Now I am crashing in my sweet friend Anita's appartment on campus where there is an extra bed. I don't think they will let me stay there for more than a week, so we'll see where I end up from there. Keep praying that this housing thing will work out as well as possible and that I will still be able to make connections in the commmunity and get lots of work down while staying calm while I am not living there yet.
~Laura

It's about to happen

2007-05-05T21:14:00.000-04:00

Here it is the night before it is all supposed to start. I am calmer than I have been. I am already learning to be more flexible and to roll with the punches and the internship hasn't even started yet. I still don't know where I am living and am crashing in friends' dorm-rooms. But, God is going to take care of me. Where ever I end up living and in whatever I do and in whomever I meet. I still have no idea what that looks like, but I am actually starting to get excited about what that might be.
~Laura